Laziness, idleness and wastefulness

I interviewed a young man and after the interview he sent me a very kind thank you email. Addressed to Mr. Liz. (Liz being a femine name) He must have been using a form letter, and forgot to tailor it to the correct gender. Needless to say he did not get the job.

You won't get the career position I have to offer if you show up in my office lobby with your lunch, your 36 ounce "big gulp" and your two kids.

Other side of the desk: after going to graduate school,where I had worked very hard to acquire the skills I would need in the job market for creative individuals in graphic and web design, I went to an interview for a good position as content manager for a large web- based firm selling large amounts of artwork on the internet. I bought a very expensive suit for the interview, had my hair done, etc. and arrived at the appointment promptly.I was met by what appeared to be two kids, dressed in old tennis shoes and tee shirts, and was informed that they were to be interviewing me for the position. They were not, however, the owners of the company, who hovered anxiously in the back of the room. I did ask during this interview for a job description, and exactly what the position entailed- I was met by evasiveness, no straight answers from the kids,but plenty of questions about whether or not I would be "comfortable" in an "informal environment." Having just spent two years as a graduate assistant teaching Art to undergrads, I had no problem with informality- but just how informal they were going to get was amazing.I got the job, and against my better judgement, I accepted the position. It turned out the owners of the company were the older couple hovering anxiously- and who knew absolutely nothing about the company they had just purchased.Absolutely nothing about maintaining a website, or for that matter, computer technology in general.The office was not properly networked, half the data was lost in migration, and the website itself was still in the original format it had been written in in 1995!No one had bothered to change it, even in the face of so much new technology.The "kids", who had originally written this website, had sold it to them without telling them about the format.It was a nightmare to put anything on, or take it off. There were close to HALF A MILLION new postings to be done essentially "by hand-" using that old technology, it could be compared to chiseling a posting out of wood-and since the sale of the company, no one had TOUCHED this website for three months! After two weeks of wading through this, I informed my bosses we needed to have a discussion about what their needs were going to be, which was for an "IT" person who was fluent in the older programming languages, and who could rescue them in the event their system crashed, which I knew was inevitable. I will never again accept a position without a good job description, and will follow my instincts about what type of operation is interviewing me!

We had an opening on our finance team and brought in several seemingly qualified candidates. The one that sticks in our minds the most was someone who looked great on paper - in fact, we were pretty excited by her credentials. When she arrived for the interview, her first question was: What company is this? She went on to share that she had been on so many interviews they were all blending together and she couldn't remember which interview this one was - so we pointed to our company's signage outside the building and strongly suggested she wasn't detail oriented enough to work in finance!

I can't vouch for the truth of this tale but the teller swore it was true.

A saleman had been trying to get into a "whale" of a prospect for two years with no luck. Then one day, his call was actually picked up by the prospect vs. screened and the prospect agreed to meet with the rep for five minutes.

The rep. studied the industry and company in great detail including all info about the prospect personally.

Finally the day of the meeting arrived. The rep was there early, dressed to kill and really prepared.

The secretary invited the rep into the prospect's office and said the prospect would arrive momentarily.

As the rep waited, he noticed a picture of the prospect with John Madden.

The prospect walked in, introduced himself and said "You've got five minutes."

The rep pulled out his notes and said just to break the ice... how did you get that photo with John Madden...do you know him?

The prospect said, "What?" and the rep pointed to the photo.

With that the "whale" said, "That's not John Madden, that's my wife!"

Oops.

During an interview, I asked one candidate to identify a weakness. More than one candidate responded that they had problems completing assignments on-time.

We once had an application for a IT position. The application was written in bad handwriting with a lot of scribbling and crossouts. In the box for "Special Skills" the applicant had written "Expert Roofer for 20 years"

I was interviewing candidates for a deputy director position with and established organization. I was the Director and had sorted through many resumes and found several good candidates, but was waiting until the deadline had passed to schedule interviews. The deadline for submission was that day, when a last resume arrived. I could not believe it - I was stunned - I have a diverse and extensive work history and this woman had literally copied my resume and added her name and address. I couldn't resist - I called her to discuss her "qualifications" and she couldn't answer any questions....of course not! Then I informed her that I knew what she had done.

While interviewing for a position with a clothing manufacturing company, I gave myself a really good taste of shoe-leather. I had meant to ask about a flexible schedule or arrival time, a seemingly innocuous subject. What came out was "How anal are you about people who get stuck in traffic a lot?". Needless to say, I didn't get the job.

I was conducting job fairs for security guards.
I had asked a candidate why he left his last job and he replied, "I was caught sleeping on the job". Thank god he was honest!

A few years back I was doing a direct mail blast of potential employers with my resume and cover letter. After all the hundreds of letters had been mailed, I realized that I typed "I will be in touch with you shorty" instead of "shortly." I really hope than none of the letter recipients were short! Always spell check!

I remember my father telling me about a person he interviewed for a job many years ago that entered his office for the job interview and sat down behind his desk. My father conducted the interview from the visitor chairs. I am pretty sure he wasn't hired.

This is really only half a sloth story: A friend of mine was interviewing for a position with a firm he really liked. He knew the firm was in the middle of Connecticut and he lived in New York City -- a two hour commute. He was prepared for the firm to question whether he was really going to be happy with that move, so he prepared an answer. "My girlfriend lives in New Haven, she loves New Haven, I've gotten to know New Haven from dating her, and I'm looking forward to someday living in New Haven." The interviewer answered, "That's great, but we're in Hartford," which is another hour and a half farther from New York, and a completely different kind of city than New Haven.

As silly as it may sound- and no matter how well you may know the very people who may interview you, always keep the interview and its subsequent conversations as professional as possible. When someone mentions "since we're all well aquainted, feel free to loosen up and enjoy the interview process"- DON'T. I made the unfortunate and all too familiar 'ladder climbing' interview taboo of refering to the person I knew quite well as "Dude". Since we parlance this moniker all the time outside of the more formal areas- my guard was down WAY TOO LOW and as impossible as it is to admit- "I hit myself below the belt" on an otherwise perfect interview.

I had been asked by a co-worker to consider a close relative for an open position. In the interview, I asked him about the many gaps in his resume. His answer? "For a long time, I didn't get this whole 'work' thing." Since he was in the midst of another six-month gap after only a few months at his previous employer, I was forced to conclude that he was still having trouble with the concept. Needless to say, he did not get the position.

Don't rest on your laurels

Recently I interviewed someone for a copywriting job on our online team. When she came in I asked her why she was qualified for the job she said had won a short story competition a few years back. She didn't provide any samples of her work and hadn't even read the job description. That was the shortest interview i had conducted...

Search for $100k+ Jobs NOW at TheLadders.com